# Alternatives to 'Getting Better'

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This is part of the [[Mental Health Resources Section]]

## An imaginary friend to aim for

When I was in my late teens, I realised I was never going to be the person I wanted to be.

I was never going to be the stable, mature, respected father-figure I so desperately wanted to be. The realisation hurt me all the way down to my core and only a flash of self-preservation made me drop the nearby Stanly-knife before it went into my inner-thigh. 

I shook and shook and shook. I didn't know it was possible to cry like that. 

I stood and stared at the carpet as if my inner workings were laid out in front of me. No protective self-deceptions, no lies accepted from repetition, just who I was — a flow chart with nothing held back. 

I said hello and introduced myself for the first time. I was up-front about my opinions and I was okay with that. I was right, after all. I could be a real shit. I wasn't perfect. I'd hurt people. I wasn't ever going to achieve things I dreamed of achieving. I would let people down. I would hurt people again.

I.

I finally had me. My concept of who I was and who I could be finally came into focus in the correct direction. It took years for me to work out the details, but I'd created a hero, and his name was Millie Hide. And he was me.

## Millie Hide

Millie Hide isn't entirely human. He's halfway between human and whatever more